Wednesday, December 31, 2008

A Year in Review - 2008

Here is my fast moving executive summary of the year that was 2008.

The Presidential election continues from the previous year. Huckabee and Obama shock by winning Iowa. Clinton and McCain shock by winning New Hampshire, pollsters scratch heads. McCain continues to baffle conservative grassroots by sweeping most of the remaining primaries. New York Times imply McCain cheated on wife, even Jon Stewart defends McCain. Romney, Thompson, and Giuliani drop out and endorse McCain. Edwards suspends campaign. Paul continues to not win a primary. Lieberman endorses McCain, gets Democrats very angry. Spitzer caught with hookers, quits and gives New York first black and blind Governor. Clinton and Obama remain neck and neck. National Enquirer probes woman Edwards probed and impregnated, mainstream press ignores it. Obama pulls ahead and Clinton does not drop out. Edwards endorses Obama. Putin lackey Dmitry Medvedev elected President of Russia. Ferraro says that Obama's race has to do with his victories, gets booted from Clinton's campaign. Andy Harris beats Gilchrist in primary upset. Obama looks like he'll beat Clinton. Clinton begins winning more primaries. Huckabee drops out of primaries. Paul begins focusing on House race instead of Presidential race.

My wife and I move to Maryland and I open up Old Line Elephant. Obama clinches nomination, is ahead of McCain in polls. Clinton officially suspends campaign. Olympics begin. Phelps makes history. Chinese cheat at gymnastics. Olympics end. Obama remains ahead of McCain in polls. Bloomberg tries to find a way around those pesky term limits. VP speculation abounds. Medvedev begins attempts to recreate the Cold War. Gilchrist has sour grapes, endorses Harris' Democratic opponent, who originally planned to take on him. McCain and Obama begin VP fakeout confounding pundits. Obama picks Biden. Democratic convention is held. Clinton gives her acceptance speech, awkwardly endorses Obama at end. Obama gives huge speech in huge stadium. McCain picks Palin, bursts Obama's bubble. McCain leads Obama in polls. Hurricane hits gulf coast. Republican convention suspended, Bush does not attend. Palin announces that her daughter's pregnant. Palin draws huge crowd and huge ratings. McCain brings in bigger TV ratings that Obama's speech despite being aired on fewer networks and less polish. Ron Paul tries to rally third party candidates to all act like libertarians, get all but the Libertarian to agree in big public meeting. Ron Paul endorses Constitution Party candidate and 9/11 skeptic for President. Ron Paul becomes irrelevant. Economic crash. Obama is ahead in the polls. Palin has bad interviews with mainstream press. McCain "suspends campaign" to go back to work, Obama remains cool as a cucumber and continues to stump. Debate 1, point Obama. Baltimore media market flooded with images of Kratovil, Ehrlich, Harris, and Gilchrist. Palin has good interviews with conservative press. Debate 2, point Obama. Russia invades Georgia, Georgia fights back. Medvedev continues recreation of Cold War. Clinton's campaign for Obama, reluctantly. Palin brings in bigger crowds than McCain. Palin and Biden debate, point Palin because no point Biden. Debate 3, too late point McCain. Bloomberg gets term limits changed by City Council, announces third term. Palin goes "rogue."

Obama beats McCain, getting first Congressional EV from Nebraska in history. Coleman beats Franken. I found Red Albany with Evil Conservative. Obama collects Cabinet that angers liberals including Clinton, Bush's Sec Def, and a center-right economic team. Polls are taken for 2012 Republicans way prematurely, Palin leads. Lieberman gets punished for endorsing McCain by removing his membership from the committee where he agrees with the Democrats and allowing him to retain chairmanship on the committee where him and they disagree. Ill. Governor Blagojevich is caught accepting bribes in exchange for Senate seat, everyone cries foul. Greek's go to the streets and protest their bad economy. NY Governor Paterson proposes crazy 88 new taxes and fees. Six Republicans announce for chairman of the GOP, two with failed 2006 campaigns, one was a chairman of a failed Presidential campaign, one with a failed state party, and one who is the failing incumbent. The sixth only gets discussed in the press because a club he joined had racism on the books. Race42008 becomes Race42012. My wife and I announce that we're having a baby. Israel attacks Hamas in Gaza. Franken pulls ahead of Coleman during recount. Bristol Palin's baby is born. Blagojevich appoints a successor to Obama who's actually non-corrupt, everyone screams foul. Medvedev continues recreation of Cold War, pulls a Palin and goes rogue. Minnesota still doesn't have a Senator. The year ends.

Happy New Years and may your 2009 be a good one.

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